Table Tactics

Being right is nice. Still getting invited back next year is better. Here's how to have both.

  1. 1

    Lead with curiosity

    Before you correct anything, ask where they heard it. “Huh, where'd you see that?” is a real question, not a trap. People let their guard down when they feel heard, and you'll learn what you're actually up against.

  2. 2

    Ask before you tell

    Try “Want to hear what I found on that?” before you launch into it. A yes means they're listening. A no means it's a good time to compliment the stuffing.

  3. 3

    Concede the small stuff

    If part of what they said is true, say so out loud. “You're right that prices went up” buys you a lot of goodwill for the part that isn't true. Nobody changes their mind while they're losing every point.

  4. 4

    Don't fight in front of the kids

    Little ears are learning how grown-ups disagree. Keep your voice low, skip the sarcasm, and if it's heating up, offer to keep talking after dinner on the porch.

  5. 5

    Know when to pass the gravy

    You won't win it all at one meal, and you don't have to. If voices are rising or someone's hurt, change the subject. “Okay, who's ready for pie?” is a perfectly good closing argument.

  6. 6

    The “let's look it up together” move

    Pull out your phone and look it up side by side. Pick a source you can both live with, read it out loud, and let the facts do the talking. It's a lot harder to argue with something you found together.